On Memorial Day weekend in 2008, my life as I had known it for 35 years came to an abrupt halt. I suddenly began to “see” everything in a brand new way.
Everything I thought I knew about myself (and life in general) came into question, catapulting me into an alternate reality that some would claim isn’t scientifically possible. What I saw, felt, and heard during this time is difficult to capture with the written word; it’s as if my sixth-sense accelerator was pushed all the way to the floor for 9 months straight. Visions, voices, lucid dreams, and emotional extremes highlight a glimpse into what my reality was like during this time period. I felt like I had cracked open, causing a vacuum-like, “flooding in” of highly intimate and meaning-laden material that shocked me to the core.
Exactly 1 year later in May 2009, I landed in a therapist’s office with a broken heart and a shattered self- image. By then I had seen the inside of a courtroom (where I had to explain all of my unusual experiences that I had written down), endured a temporary separation from my family, and had thoughts of suicide. A descriptive image is that God had my life in a bowl that He suddenly turned upside-down, spilling out the contents for everyone to see (and judge). Sitting across from this therapist for the first time, I came face to face with someone who could actually see me for “me” and the magnitude of what I was facing. It was time to take a closer look at the meaning behind the crisis.
In the healing years that followed, the overarching message that emerged was a deeply profound reverence for the many types and varieties of human expression, and a passionate desire to pay forward the gift I was given in therapy of a “safe haven”.
I believe there is tremendous value in the practice of being vulnerable, which is why I chose to share my story here with you.
By gently looking into what we are the most ashamed of within ourselves is where we will find our greatest gifts.
B.S. from Texas Christian University, 1995 ~ Special Education
M.A. from St. Edward’s University, 2014 ~ Counseling
Ph.D from Sofia University, 2018 ~ Philosophy with a Concentration in Transpersonal Psychology: Consciousness and Creativity